Post Tagged with: "texas"


U.S. Supreme Court Blocks Texas Abortion Law, Rules Texas No Longer Allowed To Make Laws

Seems perfectly understandable.

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One Texas Man Concedes: It’s Easier To Get A Gun Than Get Laid With My Tiny Willy

This man’s honesty was refreshing and impressive.

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Rick Perry Forming Exploratory Committee to Locate and Retrieve Head From Rectal Cavity

  In what many are pointing to as related to a possible 2016 Presidential run, former Texas Governor Rick Perry has recently made quite a few speaking appearances throughout the country. But just recently, Perry has officially formed an exploratory committee to attempt to locate and retrieve his head from his rectal cavity. “We ran into some trouble last time around. Almost put my foot in my mouth… you know… if I had actually opened my mouth in time. But […]

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Read The Truth About All-American Moses Only Texas Is Brave Enough To Tell

It’s an age old story, and Texas schoolbooks have it right — After a long life of being floated down a river in a basket, raised by someone else, receiving the Ten Commandments, and parting the Red Sea, Moses knew he had just one more thing to do. The Biblical hero decided he would get in a small boat and traverse the treacherous waters of the Atlantic, live for thousands more years off berries, corn, and apple juice, then when […]

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Texas To Only Allow Voting In Red Districts

With the ongoing debate about voter ID continuing in Texas, no one seemed to notice a bill get passed under the radar regarding polling places. A new law that passed along party lines was just signed by Governor Rick Perry which only allows voting to happen within districts that predominantly vote Republican. All other previous voting locations will be shut down until further notice. “This new law is in the best interest of Texas,” said Gov. Perry in an exclusive […]

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Governor Perry Closes All Borders To Texas Fearing “Ebola Terrorists”

In an unprecedented move Texas, Governor Rick Perry has ordered that all roads that lead in and out of Texas and all borders be closed. Massive fences have begun going up all around the state. In a press statement made this morning, the Governor expressed his fear that more Ebola terrorists might try to enter Texas. In an effort to save the good people of the Lone Star state, Perry had every border sealed. Texas currently holds the one known […]

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SHOCKING: Louie Gohmert Did Not Say Anything Stupid Yesterday

Breaking news out of Texas today is detailing that Louie Gohmert, Republican U.S. Representative from Texas’s First Congressional District, made it through the entire day yesterday without saying anything that would qualify as being stupid.

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Texas Creates ‘Revolutionary’ Alternative to Obamacare

Texas Governor Rick Perry has finally saddled up and presented a new alternative to Obamacare: “Perry Care”. Heal or no Heal starts this fall.

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Rick Perry: Religious Freedom Does Not Mean Freedom From Religion, Just the Bad Ones

Texas Governor Perry signed what has been dubbed the “Merry Christmas bill” into law. The legislation allows schools to display religious symbols such as Christmas trees and nativity scenes as long as at least one other religious image or secular icon is also included — so as long as Jesus is depicted.

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TEXAS: Chester Smarter Than Gov. Perry; Faces Execution June 12

“Texas has devised a nearly impossible standard for mental retardation. State Attorney General Greg Abbot explained, “If a person convicted of capital murder can whoop our esteemed governor in a debate, he’s smart enough to die for his crimes.”

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