"Texas has devised a nearly impossible standard for mental retardation. State Attorney General Greg Abbot explained, “If a person convicted of capital murder can whoop our esteemed governor in a debate, he’s smart enough to die for his crimes.”
"Texas has devised a nearly impossible standard for mental retardation. State Attorney General Greg Abbot explained, “If a person convicted of capital murder can whoop our esteemed governor in a debate, he’s smart enough to die for his crimes.”
"We have a thing that's written into the Constitution that says states can make up their own minds about these kinds of things. Some states are just more loving and accepting."
A recent petition regarding Texas secession gathered tens of thousands of signatures on the White House website, though many are thought to have been from residents of other states. Later investigation also revealed that 35,000 of them were "Chuck Norris".
Author Root explains that Perry had undiagnosed sleep apnea, had taken painkillers for back surgery, and was suffering from chronic insomnia. But he cited Perry's colossal stupidity as the real reason for his repeated gaffes.
Several frightened hikers in Austin breathed sighs of relief Saturday afternoon at the news that the ape-man they thought they saw on a Bull Creek trail was actually Texas governor Rick Perry.
Wichita, KS – With Super Tuesday’s results heating-up the campaign rhetoric, Republican presidential hopefuls Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum have signed a vow pledging to attack Turkey upon being sworn in as the next President of the United States. The vow, originally authored by the Koalition Of Concerned Humans, a grass-roots conservative group, states: Turkey…
A study by University of Chicago neurobiologists proved that rats are empathetic creatures with a strong impulse to aid other troubled rats. This study has further strengthened the theory that even rats are more compassionate than Republicans.
Ultra-Conservative group, Jesus Loves Corporations (JLC), made waves on Monday when they successfully petitioned the U.S. government to fill in the Grand Canyon with cement and build the first ever “Jesus is My Savior Theme Park and Gun Range”.
For nearly a week, the various forms of media, from television news to the internet, have been saturated with the story of sexual abuse of several children by a former Penn State football coach.
Texas Governor Rick Perry today announced a new program to bolster Texas tourism. “We are reinstituting public executions in Texas.”