Post Tagged with: "politics"


Romney Concedes: ‘I really wasn’t a good candidate’

With his imminent defeat being reported, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney made a startling confession. Not able to come right out and say he lost, Romney pointed to Fox News reports stating he had the lead and was going to win in a historic landslide that would be a mandate against all Kenyan Muslim socialists who happen to be non-white.

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Knock, Knock Who’s There? Mormon Missionaries Targeting Homes With Romney Signs For Conversion

Reports coming in all across America show that scores of sharp dressed Mormon missionaries have been unleashed on the God-fearing public and are targeting homes with Romney signs in the yard for their religious conversions.

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Sandy’s “Blame Game” More Destructive Than Storm As Pundits Fight For Attention Grabbing Headlines And Photo Ops.

There was dissent among the ranks though; while Robertson blamed the gays Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck spewed their theory illustrating how this is ultimately Obama’s fault with his Socialist programs and environmental pandering.

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Last Undecided Voter Trampled to Death by Reporters

Myron has voted in every election since he turned 18, though only for President and Governor. He had attributed his inability to make a decision to being “too busy just trying to get by to pay attention.”

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Pat Robertson And Chuck Norris Vow To Save Us From ‘AntiChrist Obama’s Reign Of Darkness And Terror’

TV evangelist Pat Robertson and martial arts superhero Chuck Norris joined forces rallying together at a worldwide prayer event asking God to send Jesus down a little early and save us from 1000 years of darkness.

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Obama’s Facebook Account Hijacked By Devious Prankster

This evening a flurry of un-presidential and outright funny updates were splashed across President Obama’s Facebook page while he was at a dinner party.

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George Bush is a “Damn Yankee”; Texans Move to Retroactively Impeach the Former Governor Over New “Birther” Controversy

All the hoopla about birth certificates and American Presidents just reached a new level. Ruth Davis of Mesquite, Texas exclaimed at a recent town hall meeting that “no one ever questioned George Bush’s birth certificate.”

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Free Pussy, Riot!

The Russian Embassy was trashed today in D.C. by an angry mob of inebriated men who showed up from the neighborhood bar across the street thinking there was a promotion for “Free Pussy.”

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Romney’s Plan to Restore America Considers Re-instituting Slavery to Gain Economic Edge in Global Economy

Mitt Romney said today at a rally in Mississippi that “slavery is what built this great nation and its what it will take to rebuild it.”

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Bloomberg to Make N.Y.C. Subway Users Pay by the Pound

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced plans to revamp the subway system into a “Pay by the Pound” pricing structure meant to motivate New Yorkers to lose weight.

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