Post Tagged with: "Orbson"


Anonymous Hacks IRS Database – Publishes Trump’s Tax Returns

Between his shocking tax rate and his bizarre itemized deductions this will surely add to the ever increasing questions as to his suitability to be president.

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Bill O’Reilly Says He’ll Leave U.S. If Sanders Wins, Sanders’ Poll Numbers Skyrocket

O’Reilly stated “If Bernie Sanders gets elected president, I’m fleeing. I’m going to Ireland.” Even contender Hillary Clinton rang in saying, “When I heard that, I even considered voting for Bernie.”

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Hillary Clinton: ‘It’s Time to Break the Ass Ceiling’

No one can say that former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton minces words.

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Scott Walker Signs Law Declaring Himself a ‘Genius’

   Wisconsin Governor and presidential hopeful Scott Walker has finally answered critics who have suggested that he does not have the proper education to govern.  This morning, Walker signed into law a measure that would define anyone with an I.Q. of 90 or higher as a “genius”. During today’s press conference Walker stated:  “I’ve always known I was exceptional but today everyone knows that I am a genius. I is proof that we don’t need no education department. I may […]

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Harriet Tubman On New $20 Bill, Valued At Only $15.40?

As for whether the value of the new $20 bill will indeed be 23% less than face value we’ll just have to wait and see.

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Sarah Palin Knocks Self Unconscious Taking Ice Bucket Challenge

Earlier today, Sarah Palin knocked herself unconscious while participating in the Ice Bucket Challenge. Sponsored by the ALS Association, the Ice Bucket Challenge has participants film themselves pouring a bucket of water and ice over their heads. According to aides, Palin was unaware that the ice bucket was supposed to contain water and instead froze the entire bucket before dumping the large block of ice directly onto her own head. Unconscious, she was rushed to the hospital where doctors confirmed that […]

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Gallup Poll: 71% of Tea Party Members Believe Ebola is President Obama’s Birthplace

Tea Party members have often found themselves as punch lines. Not because so many people would like to line them up and punch them, but because there is the perception that they are not that intelligent. Providing further proof of their less than optimal I.Q., Gallup has released a new poll in which they surveyed 2,400 registered Tea Party voters. The end result was that 71% of active Tea Party members believe that Ebola is the country where President Barack […]

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Walmart Lowers Minimum Wage to $1 after Hobby Lobby Victory

Commencing immediately, Walmart is lowering the minimum wage of their 2.2 million employees to $1 per hour and permanently ending all health and retirement benefits. The CEO of Walmart, C. Douglas McMillon, made the announcement in a press conference just seconds after the Supreme Court of the United States handed down its controversial decision in Burwell v Hobby Lobby. The conservative court determined that for-profit corporations do not have to abide by the Affordable Care Act’s contraception coverage requirement if […]

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Republican Environmental Caucus Concedes Major Climate Issue: Rain is not in fact God’s Tears

The preponderance of scientific evidence has finally forced the conservative environmental caucus to concede one of the most divisive climate issues facing our nation. Conservative leaders now freely admit that rain is not the result of God’s tears. For years the scientific consensus is that rain is liquid water in the form of droplets that have condensed from atmospheric water vapor and then become heavy enough to fall due to gravity. However, many conservatives have preached that this is just […]

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Tea Party Mistakenly Protests Arizona Thespian Center: “Thespians are against God’s will”

An innocent celebration turned chaotic Thursday as Tea Party demonstrators descended on Tucson, Arizona to protest the newly built Arizona Thespian Center. Led by Minnesota Senator Michele Bachmann, the protesters interrupted the ribbon cutting ceremony for the 1200-seat performing arts center by screaming a series of homophobic expletives, throwing objects at participants and threatening to “burn that building of sin to the ground”. Or as they would call it, doing God’s work. The participants of the ribbon cutting ceremony seemed […]

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