Reports coming in all across America show that scores of sharp dressed Mormon missionaries have been unleashed on the God-fearing public and are targeting homes with Romney signs in the yard for their religious conversions.
Reports coming in all across America show that scores of sharp dressed Mormon missionaries have been unleashed on the God-fearing public and are targeting homes with Romney signs in the yard for their religious conversions.
There was dissent among the ranks though; while Robertson blamed the gays Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck spewed their theory illustrating how this is ultimately Obama's fault with his Socialist programs and environmental pandering.
"Sure, while many poor and minority young people were involuntarily drafted and soon found themselves knee-deep in cholera-infested rice paddies, you must remember that Mitt was also in a difficult spot serving Jesus."
TV evangelist Pat Robertson and martial arts superhero Chuck Norris joined forces rallying together at a worldwide prayer event asking God to send Jesus down a little early and save us from 1000 years of darkness.
Mitt Romney promised on Friday to figure out if Snuffleupagus is real or not and if so, cut the roughly ten dollars and fifty cents it costs to animate the creature on Sesame Street each month, or, preferably, the tens of billions of dollars it costs each week to bring such an imaginary character into…
"No Big Bird is going to keep us from what we are entitled to," she said before going into a long rant about Manifest Destiny and her favorite recipe for turkey.
This evening a flurry of un-presidential and outright funny updates were splashed across President Obama's Facebook page while he was at a dinner party.
Mitt Romney said today at a rally in Mississippi that "slavery is what built this great nation and its what it will take to rebuild it."
After speaking about how much she appreciates the efforts of women all over the nation being the cornerstone of our society and keeping everything together, she blurted out without hesitation, "I love you women!!"
Having given up on the single-woman demographic, television ads and speeches have shown Romney doubling-down on attempts to gain votes from married women in recent days, by going so far as to ask their husbands to step in and influence them.