Post Tagged with: "2012 election"


Karl Rove Shakes Fist, Stomps on Hat

Shaking his fist angrily at the camera, Rove appeared to be addressing voters directly. “You people get back here,” he snarled. “I’m not finished with you yet!” After another five minutes of shaking his fist and yelling obscenities, he announced, “You haven’t seen the last of old Karl, you hear?”

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Koch Brothers Invoice Romney 500 Million For ‘Services Not Rendered’

It seems they aren’t happy with the result and are holding Romney responsible. Immediately after Romney conceded, the Koch boys emailed an invoice to Romney demanding 500 million dollars for what they termed “services not rendered.”

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Romney Concedes: ‘I really wasn’t a good candidate’

With his imminent defeat being reported, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney made a startling confession. Not able to come right out and say he lost, Romney pointed to Fox News reports stating he had the lead and was going to win in a historic landslide that would be a mandate against all Kenyan Muslim socialists who happen to be non-white.

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Elderly Woman Admits: ‘I’m not really an independent, I’m lonely and like robocalls’

An elderly woman just outside of Cleveland, Ohio admitted to a Fox News crew that she really wasn’t an independent, but merely starved for attention.

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Pat Robertson: God Sent Hurricane Sandy To Save America From Mormons

“God is not a Mormon, and he doesn’t want a Mormon to be the president of his America,” Robertson said on his televangelist talk show “The 700 Club.”

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In Drunken Stupor, Glenn Beck Admits He Will Vote For Obama

Beck has been unceasing in his criticism of President Barack Obama dating back to the 2008 election. He has had nothing positive to say, turning to vitriolic rants to put voice to his opinions. That’s why it was such a surprise when Beck admitted that he would be voting for Mr. Obama November 6.

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Knock, Knock Who’s There? Mormon Missionaries Targeting Homes With Romney Signs For Conversion

Reports coming in all across America show that scores of sharp dressed Mormon missionaries have been unleashed on the God-fearing public and are targeting homes with Romney signs in the yard for their religious conversions.

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Sandy’s “Blame Game” More Destructive Than Storm As Pundits Fight For Attention Grabbing Headlines And Photo Ops.

There was dissent among the ranks though; while Robertson blamed the gays Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck spewed their theory illustrating how this is ultimately Obama’s fault with his Socialist programs and environmental pandering.

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Republican Party Admits to Being a Massive Prank

Confirming suspicions long-held by much of the American political left, Republican party chairman Reince Priebus unveiled on Friday that his party is, and has been for over four decades, one big piece of satirical performance art.

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Cat Impersonates Donald Trump At News Conference, Fires Human Trump

A reporter asked how the cat could come up with such an exacting and damning treatise on the Donald, to which the furry feline hissed disapproval.

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