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Sequester Budget Cuts Are Teaching Me to Live Within My Means, says Hungry Two-Month-Old Baby

March 4, 2013
By
baby

The seven-pound Georgia resident recently told reporters that she is grateful for the wisdom she has gained after massive cuts to federal programs.

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Reclusive North Korean Leader Meets Dennis Rodman, Proclaims Him “One Weird Motherfucker”

March 3, 2013
By
Rodman_Kim

The visit has been slammed by many as Korean propaganda, among them former Alaska governor Sarah Palin who referred to Rodman as "Hanoi Dennis". But Rodman insists that the visit is not propaganda and is about growing understanding of differing cultures.

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Argo Wins Best Picture Angering Right-Wing: “It’s Just Rewarding Problem-Solving Without Need Of War”

February 25, 2013
By
Director and producer Ben Affleck accepts the Oscar for best picture for "Argo" at the 85th Academy Awards in Hollywood

While many were congratulating the victory of the story that many had never heard there were several on the right-wing who were very upset.

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CPAC 2013 Speakers Romney & Palin Will Discuss Best Ways To Lose Presidential Elections

February 21, 2013
By
"CPAC" "Romney" "Palin" "2013" "conservative" "Republican" "losing" "defeated"

Both Sarah Palin and Mitt Romney seem to be well versed in how to really turn off the American public from ever wanting to vote for them, so they will be revealing their secrets of being defeated to their conservative peers so that they too can repeat the same mistakes in the future.

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Glenn Beck Exposes Secretive ‘Liberal Arts’ In Nearly Every American College

February 21, 2013
By
Beck_University

It is in these programs, he believes, where the majority of Americans are poisoning their minds with progressive ideals which are a grave threat to the very foundation of America.

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Less Than Three Percent Of Those Who Say They’ll Pray For You Actually Ever Do

February 18, 2013
By
prayer

New polling data collected by the Pew Research Center shows that of your disapproving friends who tell you that they "will pray for you" or "are praying for you," less than 3% actually do such a thing.

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Fears Of Church Takeover By Facebook As Pope Resigns

February 16, 2013
By
Pope-Benedict-XVI

"If you look more closely, you'll see some curious parallels between the two – both started by Jewish guys with a knack for starting mass movements, phenomenal global reach, etc. This is one to watch.”

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Pistorius Overcomes Disability, Murders Girlfriend Just As Well As Able-Bodied Killer

February 16, 2013
By
original

South African double amputee track star Oscar Pistorius, while falling short of his recent attempt to best able-bodied world class 400m sprinters in the 2012 London Olympic Games, finally achieved his goals and overcame his disability to violently kill his girlfriend in a hail of gunfire.

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NRA Backs Down, Admits Carrying Handguns Would Not Have Saved Dinosaurs From Extinction

February 15, 2013
By
dinosaur_asteroid

“It was a careless comment by one of our staff,” admits the Association's CEO Wayne LaPierre. “Historical speculation can only go so far – it's fine if you're talking about 1775, but we can't speak with any authority on prehistoric events.

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Carnival Defends Cruise: Overflowing Sewage and Lack of Food Are Normal On Our Cruises

February 15, 2013
By
carnival_stranded

Carnival CEO Gerry Cahill struck back against reports of a disappointing cruise featuring overflowing toilets, sloshing urine and fecal matter, food and water shortages, and extreme boredom.

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