Archive for Category: "Pop Culture"


Kanye Asks Wife Kim To Make Another Sex Tape To Raise One Billion For ‘His Dreams’

Well, that’s certainly one way to do it.

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Kanye West Gets Head Stuck in Rectum, Hospitalized

  According to early reports, popular rapper Kanye West has been admitted to a Los Angeles hospital due to a serious rectal blockage. Allegedly, West got his own head lodged in his rectum, causing severe spinal and intestinal injuries and further brain damage. Dr. Dean Rueter, Kanye’s surgeon, was able to comment on the matter. “I’ve never seen anything like it,” he said, chuckling. “Sorry,” he added. “This is a very, uh, unusual injury, so my staff and I are […]

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Kanye West Now Official Spokesman for Massengill Douches

In a press release today the marketing department at Massengill announced that for the first time ever a man will represent one of their products. Kanye West, the famed rapper/producer has been chosen to be the first ever male spokesperson for Massengill Douches. Massengill has been providing cleaning products and feminine hygiene products since 1898. When asked why they chose Kanye for this honor, Massengill public relations director Clive Cluster had this to say: “We’ve been toying with the idea […]

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Julia Roberts Quarantined For Infectious Laugh

MALIBU, CA — Several witnesses at a local market in Malibu, CA were taken off guard when a severely wonderful sound passed through their ears and they were overcome with the overwhelming urge to giggle. Jill of Calabasas said, “I turned around and I saw Julia Roberts standing behind me in line talking to someone on her phone and laughing. Before I knew it, I was laughing too, and so were three or four other patrons standing around me. It […]

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President Obama To Send In Carol From The Walking Dead To Destroy ISIS

President Obama is about to tell ISIS to “look at the flowers.” In an effort to combat the increasing presence of ISIS militants in Iraq and Syria, President Obama is sending in Carol from The Walking Dead to take them out in a matter of minutes. “Airstrikes are working,” said the or president in an exclusive interview with Free Wood Post. “However, they are just no working fast enough. After watching last week’s episode of The Walking Dead the answer […]

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Other Offensive Jeopardy Categories

Monday’s broadcast of Jeopardy featured a category titled “What Women Want” implying women only want vacuum cleaners, good jeans, and sleepy time tea. This raised an uproar on Twitter and forced the producers of the decades-long-running game show to review other categories they were thinking of using: “What Men Want” Something you need when you’re hungry with a wife barefoot in the kitchen. — What is a sandwich? Quiet time is a must during this activity, unless of course you’re […]

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U2 Stealing Storage Space From Good Music On Millions Of Devices

  With the announcement earlier last week of the iPhone 6, iPhone 6 Plus, and the Apple Watch, Apple head Tim Cook also announced that everyone with an iTunes account receive the new U2 album ‘Songs of Innocence’ for free. In fact, it appeared on its own, within the users music library. It would seem however, that many aren’t too pleased with this “free download” because its taking up valuable storage space on many mobile devices. “If it was a […]

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Sarah Palin Knocks Self Unconscious Taking Ice Bucket Challenge

Earlier today, Sarah Palin knocked herself unconscious while participating in the Ice Bucket Challenge. Sponsored by the ALS Association, the Ice Bucket Challenge has participants film themselves pouring a bucket of water and ice over their heads. According to aides, Palin was unaware that the ice bucket was supposed to contain water and instead froze the entire bucket before dumping the large block of ice directly onto her own head. Unconscious, she was rushed to the hospital where doctors confirmed that […]

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The Walking Red: The Truth about Florida’s “Zombie” Cover-up

  Over the past two years, Florida has been the scene of a series of violent and unusual attacks. These incidents have led to nationwide speculation as to the presence of zombies in the Sunshine State. After an exhaustive investigation into the story, it is now clear that Florida Governor Rick Scott and former Governor Jeb Bush are engaging in a disturbing and potentially deadly cover-up. The “zombie” attacks were not perpetrated by creatures from a horror movie or even […]

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Downed Facebook Frightened Millennials Into Thinking They May Need To Learn Social Skills

WORLD WIDE WEB — For a brief moment today, the world was without Facebook. It was terrifying for most, but for Millennials, it was a giant wake-up call. For the generation who group up talking to each other through the internet, they were faced with the broad realization that they may actually have to face their peers face to face. Even the remote concept of this was enough for many to crawl under their beds and hide until their security […]

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