Is Pac-Man responsible for this country’s obesity problem? According to U.S. Representative John Marston (AZ), the answer is a resounding yes.
I unionized over 400 years ago. Before that, I’d get an elf all trained up; tinkering toys just the way I like, and then they’d up and leave for a better paying job.
Booths will be set up, literally in back alleys, where women seeking abortions can lay down on flee-ridden blankets and get free abortions from non-medically trained personnel using, you guessed it, the “pro life wire hanger”.
After a dismal election season and on air meltdown on election night, Karl Rove believes the Republican Party, in collusion with contributors to his Super PACs have put a hit out on him.
Though some worry that if too much money is funneled into mathematics, a new generation of math scholars will refuse to buy lottery tickets and this will end up creating a 'lost generation' among their children, since many legislatures are hesitant to spend significant non-lottery dollars on education.
"I just got another letter from the NRA tellin' me that Mr. Obama is gonna take my guns in his second term. I just don't know though, but I'm not takin' any chances. I'm cutting back on food and clothes for my kids to buy more guns and ammo."
"Hopefully with the creation of these dormitories Walmart can reduce the need of treasured employees looking to the government for help."
Popular food-like snack company Hostess announced that they are ceasing production of their iconic treats. Shocked Americans demand answers! Is the post-election timing just a coincidence? Or is there a greater conspiracy brewing?
These camps will be known as "Subversion Camps" and will be open to any and all individuals who seek to resign their patriotism to their nation and give up all civic responsibility.