Archive for Category: "Almost News"


Trump Gives Putin Honorary American Citizenship; Boasts It’s ‘Good Diplomacy’

In what conservative commentators are calling ‘sign of good faith for things to come’, Trump wanted to make things official.

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Trump To Insist All Members Of Congress Call Him ‘Dear Leader’

He’s becoming the dictator he’s always dreamed of being.

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Trump Excited To Perjure Himself More Than Anyone In The History Of The Universe (TWEET)

He knows he’s the best liar out there!

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Trump Giving Lincoln Bedroom To Putin To Streamline U.S. Takeover By Russia

JUST IN.

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Trump Vows to Send Statue of Liberty Back to France

“Just don’t worry about it….We have to be tough, it’s time we’re going to be a little bit tough, folks. I am going to build a new Statue of Liberty. It’s going to be bigger. So big. So big they can see it in Iran. And I’m gonna have a new model. A gorgeous girl.”

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Betsy DeVos Bans “Teaching” in Classrooms

During the press conference DeVos stated, “Learning needs be better. This less confusing for students. Enlightening good. Jesus good. Trump good. Goodbye.”

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Trump Signs Executive Order to Sell Grand Canyon

Trump spoke about his decision: “The parks are mine now and I can do with them what I like. What’s best for the country. This is a great day. Wonderful. Tons of jobs. Tons. There’s going to be money falling from the skies because of this.”

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Politifact Declares ‘Pants on Fire’ to Trump’s statement: ‘You know, I’m, like, a smart person.’

According to a Politifact spokesperson it took only 30 seconds to confer the verdict, ‘Pants on Fire’ as well as award Trump the 2016 Lie of the Year award.

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Duck Dynasty Cancelled After Robertsons Accept Roles Within Trump Administration

Everything is moving forward just as we expected.

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Hillary To Seat Random Stranger From Local Applebees In Front Row Of Debate

“If Trump thinks he can be random with Obama’s half-brother, you just wait and see what I’ve got up my sleeve.”

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