Articles By: Orbson Rice


Trump Vows to Send Statue of Liberty Back to France

“Just don’t worry about it….We have to be tough, it’s time we’re going to be a little bit tough, folks. I am going to build a new Statue of Liberty. It’s going to be bigger. So big. So big they can see it in Iran. And I’m gonna have a new model. A gorgeous girl.”

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Betsy DeVos Bans “Teaching” in Classrooms

During the press conference DeVos stated, “Learning needs be better. This less confusing for students. Enlightening good. Jesus good. Trump good. Goodbye.”

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Trump Signs Executive Order to Sell Grand Canyon

Trump spoke about his decision: “The parks are mine now and I can do with them what I like. What’s best for the country. This is a great day. Wonderful. Tons of jobs. Tons. There’s going to be money falling from the skies because of this.”

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Politifact Declares ‘Pants on Fire’ to Trump’s statement: ‘You know, I’m, like, a smart person.’

According to a Politifact spokesperson it took only 30 seconds to confer the verdict, ‘Pants on Fire’ as well as award Trump the 2016 Lie of the Year award.

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Anonymous Hacks IRS Database – Publishes Trump’s Tax Returns

Between his shocking tax rate and his bizarre itemized deductions this will surely add to the ever increasing questions as to his suitability to be president.

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California Law Bans Republicans from Using ANY Public Restroom

“As Republicans work diligently to discriminate against the innocent transgender community, they completely ignore the fact that it’s Republicans themselves that are the greater threat to the public’s restroom safety.”

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Trump Reveals Controversial New Mustache

Ted Cruz: “I actually kinda like it. I don’t know, there’s something about it that just looks really right to me. I can’t grow facial hair myself but good for him. Good choice.”

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Trump: ‘Francis Better Watch Out Or I’ll Run For Pope’

“Before long, it’ll be known as Trumpican City, because I am Trump and I Can!”

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Trump Boasts International Skills: Palin’s Endorsement Proof Country Of Alaska Supports Me

Republican Presidential ‘dopeful’ Donald Trump may not have any experience in international relations but at least he can identify other countries right? Apparently not.

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Bill O’Reilly Says He’ll Leave U.S. If Sanders Wins, Sanders’ Poll Numbers Skyrocket

O’Reilly stated “If Bernie Sanders gets elected president, I’m fleeing. I’m going to Ireland.” Even contender Hillary Clinton rang in saying, “When I heard that, I even considered voting for Bernie.”

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