Blog Archives

Vegas Loses Big on Bet that NRA Was Going to be Rational This Time

December 21, 2012
By
"NRA" "LaPierre" "Vegas"

The odds are now "decent" on bets that the NRA will seek to expand gun rights to domestic pets and certain farm animals.

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Romney Campaign to Issue Chick-fil-A Vouchers to Insulted Voters

September 20, 2012
By
"Romney" "Chick" "fil" "a" "voucher" "voters" "insulted" "Free" "Wood" "Post"

"It's the least we could do," Romney campaign manager Matt Rhoades said. "Chick-fil-A is a valued partner in the Romney campaign and a place where many Americans--whether taxpayers, moochers, or victims---can find great chicken sandwiches.

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Poll: Majority of Extremely Drunk Americans Like What they See in Rick Perry

September 23, 2011
By
RickPerry

The vast majority of extremely drunk Americans believe Texas Governor Rick Perry looks and acts "presidential," according to a Google poll taken immediately after the recent Fox News/Google Republican Presidential debate in Orlando.

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Perry Seen Practicing Piano, Singing “Tiny Dancer” During Debate

September 23, 2011
By
rick-perry-tiny-dancer

Fox News cameras caught Republican Presidential candidate Rick Perry practicing the piano on his podium at least a dozen times during the Fox News/Google Presidential debate in Orlando last night, even as he was answering questions or arguing with Mitt Romney.

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Cain’s Chance to Be President Tanks After Admitting “I Kinda Like the New Facebook”

September 21, 2011
By
HermanCain

Republican Presidential candidate Herman Cain's chances of being the next U.S. President took a serious dive Wednesday after he was overheard saying "I kinda like the new Facebook redesign."

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Tiny Nation of Monaco Asks for Help as U.S. Billionaires Pack Hotels, Seeking Refugee Status

September 20, 2011
By
MonacoHarbor

Monaco, known for its expensive hotels and high-stakes luxury casinos, has requested international help to stem the tide of U.S. billionaires fleeing class warfare in the United States, sources close to Monaco's ruling monarchy confirmed late this afternoon.

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Boehner, GOP Leaders Roll Out Plan to Oppose Math

September 19, 2011
By
HouseGOPLeaders

House Speaker John Boehner and other Republican congressional leaders rallied Monday around the party's growing opposition to math, saying President Obama's use of the term in relation to the budget was "deeply troubling and, frankly, not what this nation needs."

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Bachmann Outraged by Buffett Rule’ Impact on Old Country Buffet Customers

September 18, 2011
By
Bachmannmeetthepress

Republican Presidential candidate Michelle Bachmann told Meet the Press on Sunday that President Obama's proposed "Buffet Rule" would lead to the FBI "raiding Old Country Buffet restaurants and taking tiramisu right out of the hands and mouths of mentally retarded children."

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