Wealthy And Famous White Man Has Never Had His Race Held Against Him

Hall of Fame NFL coach Mike Ditka made news recently by telling San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick to stand for the national anthem or “get the hell out of the country.” In his comments, he singlehandedly debunked Kaepernick’s startling claims of racism and instances of police overreach in the United States.

Ditka pointed out that he, a football player who was selected in the first round of the NFL draft, had immediate success on the field, retired immediately into a coaching position, and then was given multiple commentator gigs… all while being totally white, did not experience any of the racism alleged by Kaepernick, Black Lives Matter activists, the news, and many dead citizens. He even was pulled over by police for drinking and driving in the midst of his 1985 Super Bowl run as coach of the Chicago Bears. “They towed my brand new Mercedes to my house and I took a cab home. I even gave him a $100 tip. Nobody beat me or admitted to anyone how fast or erratically I was driving. And nobody had a problem with my race.” Even so, the following morning state police headquarters were bombarded with angry callers demanding justice for the inebriated coach. Ditka also hasn’t had his race held against him at any the many restaurants that he owns. “This stuff just doesn’t happen in this country.”

After carefully considering Ditka’s insightful commentary, Black Lives Matter activists have considered disbanding, wondering “maybe we have just been being too oversensitive about this stuff after all?”

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