After Months Of Almost Caring About The Nation, Ted Cruz Gives Up Search For Spine

As much as many can say they don’t like Senator Ted “Green Eggs and Ham” Cruz, they could at least say he seemed to care about the nation enough to not want to see it fall into the hands of a megalomaniac reality television show host.

Ever since Cruz dropped out of the race for Republican nominee he held true to making sure that the nation will not fall prey to the horrendousness of Donald Trump. He even implied at the Republican National Convention that people still shouldn’t vote for Trump in November.

However, it seems as if after months of almost caring about the nation, Ted Cruz has given up his search for his spine, because he’s now endorsed Donald Trump.

In a statement to Free Wood Post, Cruz said:

“I had a brief moment where I thought I could actually see where my spine was located. I was going to be brave and hold to my values of honoring this great nation, but insanity got the better of me, and now I’m backing that which I most despise. I made a promise to the nation that I would do what’s best, but I also made a promise to back whoever is the nominee. And since I can’t seem to actually locate where my spine has gone, I will back Donald Trump as president.

I know he made fun of my wife and maybe if I had found my spine things would be different, but I can’t change the fact that I’m a sellout. It is what it is.

With that, I send my condolences to the nation for not actually giving a shit about it, and care more about pleasing those within my own party than the people who I serve.”

It’s really not surprising that Cruz gave up his search for his spine considering he’s not able to follow through with pretty much anything he’s every tried to do in the Senate.

Free Wood Post was unable to reach the Trump campaign for comment regarding this latest endorsement, but we can assume they’d say something like, “Knew you’d eventually back Trump, you spineless turd.”


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