RNC Platform Proposes Boosting Women’s Pay To 80 Cents On The Dollar

The Republican National Committee has been busy this week trying to finalize the document that will lay out the party’s vision for the future. It looks to be the stuff of nightmares.

Many of the extreme right proposals known as planks have made the news recently. Most notably, the platform committee declared that pornography is a “public health crisis,” and urged energetic prosecution. They’ve also gone contrary to public opinion in declaring that marriage should be between and man and a woman; that children raised in “traditional homes are healthier”; that parents can force LGBT children into barbaric conversion therapies and that biblical literature should be taught in public schools.

You’ll notice they seem primarily concerned with telling American citizens how to conduct their private lives rather than dealing with, oh I don’t know… gun violence, the economy, immigration reform, healthcare, etc.

It the latest outlandish plank, the RNC has proposed that women should be paid 80 cents for every dollar a man makes. Some might see this as progressive as women currently make only 78 cents on average for every dollar a man makes.

When asked about what would appear to be a slight move towards progress a committee member who wished to remain anonymous had this to say:

“Republicans love women. We want to see them thrive. Why, if a little lady feels the need to work she should get a couple extra cents to help her provide good meals and clean clothes for her husband and children.”

When asked why the party didn’t simply propose equal pay for equal work laughter broke out and the committee stated, “Now, that’s taking things too far.”

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