After Early Returns Of Tuesday Primaries, Ted Cruz Seen Jumping Fence Towards White House

Tuesday afternoon as early exit polls were coming out of several state primaries being held, someone was spotted jumping the White House fence. This, in turn, forced the White House to completely lock down until the threat was eliminated.

It’s now being reported that the person who jumped the fence was none other that Republican presidential candidate Senator Ted Cruz.

According to sources close to Free Wood Post, the senator apparently heard the results are most certainly not in his favor and snapped. He then headed directly to the White House, ran out of his SUV, jumped the fence and sprinted towards the home.

As Cruz ran, several reports indicated that he was heard saying:

“BUT GOD SAID IT WOULD BE MEEE! HE SAID IT WOULD BE MEEE! WHY, GOD? WHY ISN’T IT MEEE?!”

Once the Secret Service determined it was, in fact, Senator Cruz, he was taken into custody, but only briefly to calm down and regain control of his senses.

Perhaps Sen. Cruz, like so many others, simply cannot wrap his head around why Donald Trump is doing so well, but what he needs to realize is, no one likes him, because he’s kind of an ass.

Needless to say, whoever the Republicans choose as their nominee has to go up against whoever the Democrats choose, and to be blunt, none of the Republican candidates are getting into the White House any time soon.


Image: Flickr/Wiki Commons

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