Images Of Ted Cruz Being Used To Coerce Criminals Into Confessing To Their Crimes

All over the nation, or for that matter the world, police investigators try to get their suspects to confess to their crimes. It’s an arduous task, and one that takes years of training.

Speaking candidly to Free Wood Post, a police detective who requested he stay anonymous, revealed that he and his fellow police officers have been using images of Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz to coerce criminals into confessing to their crimes. He even stated:

“It’s been the most effective way to get confessions that we’ve ever used.”


“The average time it takes to get a confession has been around five minutes. I’ve never seen such a thing. In several cases where suspects have stared for too long we’ve had instances of vomiting, so we’re accommodating these criminals with barf bags just in case. It’s only fair. After all, this method could be deemed torture at any moment.”

The only worry being that some of the suspects may be confessing to crimes they did not commit just so they no longer have to endure staring at the Texas junior senator’s face any longer.

It’s a controversial method of coercion for sure, but hey, it’s working.

It’s rumored that several other police departments across the nation may start adopting the same technique due to it’s effectiveness.

Featured image: Flickr

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