One Texas Man Concedes: It’s Easier To Get A Gun Than Get Laid With My Tiny Willy

In what should come as a surprise to absolutely no one, a man in Texas has revealed something that has often been assumed, but now can be confirmed.

Keeping his anonymity as to not be revealed to his friends, this man, we’ll call him Tiny, came to Free Wood Post with a confession about his gun purchases and his excitement for the new open carry law in Texas. We asked him to feel open and that he should be as honest as possible.

Tiny explained:

“Well, for me, and I know this is true among many men, we carry to feel stronger and more masculine. A lot of us feel insecure in our own skin and having a gun makes us feel like we’re really men. For me especially, as a man who has a tiny dick, being able to openly carry a gun in public is like wearing my sergeant stiffy on my sleeve. It makes me feel like more of a man. It makes up for not being well-endowed in other areas. Hopefully the women will be so entranced by the size of my guns that they won’t notice my willy is smaller than a baby carrot. Hell it’s also a lot easier to buy a gun than get laid with my tiny willy. A lot of other men, mainly liberals, must have giant Jimmy Wrigglers. They seem very comfortable in their own skin without the need to carry a gun everywhere they go to overcompensate. Not gonna lie, I’m a little jealous of those fellers. This is anonymous, right? Can’t let my buddies know I’m jealous of them damn liberals.”

We were impressed with this man’s openness for the sake of just being honest, and fully understand his need to remain anonymous. Hopefully more men will feel free to let the truth be known as well.

Featured image: Wikimedia Commons

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