Oregon Occupiers Desperate For Toilet Paper And Rash Cream

It comes as no so surprise that the, oh so brilliant, planning and preparation of the armed domestic terrorists occupying the Oregon wildlife sanctuary has fallen short once again.

As has been reported over the last several days, the armed take over of the federal land led by the Bundy clan, was supposed to last years. However the group quickly ran into trouble when they ran out of Doritos and American cheese and put out a desperate plea on the internet for snacks.

Seems they also neglected to pack another necessity; toilet paper. The Malheur visitor center only has four bathroom stalls and the TP supply quickly disappeared. Imagine hoards of anti-government Y’all Qaeda members subsisting on beans and jerky trying to do their patriotic doody without the Charmin.

Well, it’s a mess. Some of the self-proclaimed outdoorsmen have taken to doing their business outside and using leaves as a substitute for toilet paper. Unfortunately, they didn’t realize that the leaves they have been using are Poison Ivy.

Today, the desperate plea for toilet paper and rash cream went out from the occupiers. I guess it’s hard to overthrow the government when your ass itches.

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