Huckabee, Santorum In Heated Contest For Lone Pataki Supporter

Pataki support

Following Tuesday’s shocking announcement that former New York Governor George Pataki had exited the 2016 presidential race, advisers at both the Santorum and Huckabee campaigns were frantically working the phones in a pitch battle to get Pataki’s supporter into their camp.

“Adding George’s supporter to our tally would be a game changer,” said former Senator Santorum (R-Pa) at a campaign stop in Manchester, New Hampshire, adding “it’d increase our ranks 100%, literally unprecedented in this contest.”

Pataki’s lone supporter, Gerard Henderson of Sioux Falls, Iowa, has become the latest hot commodity for the bottom rungs of the Republican nominating contest, after ex-candidate Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal’s supporters, the Lazlo family of Davenport, declared their support for Carly Fiorina via Facebook last month.

“This is a tight race and we won’t take anything for granted. Frankly, I’m surprised Mr. Trump and Senator Rubio aren’t here, too” said Huckabee campaign Senior Adviser Chip Saltzman as he waited by Henderson’s car in the parking lot outside of a Lowe’s hardware store.

Republican political strategist Brian Morgenstern says Henderson’s support could go either way.

“Henderson’s Catholic, so Santorum might appeal to him,” Morgenstern offered.  “But I hear he also plays the drums, and I know [Huckabee’s band] The Little Rock Hudsuckers is looking for someone to hit those sticks.”

Not everyone is on the Henderson bandwagon. Former Virginia Governor Jim Gilmore issued a statement to reporters criticizing his fellow candidates:

“Jim Gilmore has been running a consistent race since day one – one that doesn’t need ‘supporters’ or ‘votes’ or ‘attention’ to win over the American people.”

Henderson was unavailable to speak on the phone, but his wife, Marie, did offer a quick insight:

“For the last dang time, Jerry didn’t endorse anyone.  He thought he was signing a petition to get a Home Depot for the Sioux Falls Mall.  We hate Lowe’s.  Please underline hate when you publish this article.”

As of press time, both Santorum and Huckabee were frantically fighting over who would help Mr. Henderson carry six panels of sheetrock to his car.

 

Featured image: Gage Skidmore (flickr/flickr/flickr)

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