New Dick Cheney Bust Unveiled Made Of Same Material As His Heart

CheneyStatue

A statue at the U.S. Capitol has been revealed to pay tribute to former Vice President Dick Cheney. The creator behind the statue felt it would be a touching reminder to his lifetime of work if he were to make the bust out of a material that best represents the former VP. So he chose marble, a very cold stone, to match Cheney’s heart.

Throughout Cheney’s career he can be seen as a money-grubbing oil man who went to war to secure contracts for his company Halliburton. Contracts that would subsequently make the company nearly $40 billion. And only at the cost of over 4,000 lives of American soldiers and hundreds of thousands of innocent Iraqis, all while destabilizing an entire region opening it up for radical extremists to fill the power vacuum. But hey, Cheney made a lot of money, so it was worth it, right?

This is was all after Cheney nearly wet his panties on 9/11/01 when the twin towers fell as he had his feet up on his desk basking in the thought that now he could twist enough lies to go back to Iraq. Even though they had nothing to do with the attacks.

CheneyTower

Having this new stone cold bust in the U.S. Capitol building is very befitting to remind people of all the heartless actions he has taken throughout his career.

 

Editors note: This is barely satire. All the details of Cheney’s career are 100% accurate. 

 

Featured image: ABC News

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