Carly Fiorina Seeks To Destroy Toilet She Flushed HP Down


After the recent Republican presidential debate, Carly Fiorina emerged as the clear winner, facts and accuracy be damned. In the time since the debate, many have been questioning the former Hewlett-Packard CEO’s business record and all the claims she has made. As it turns out, her record isn’t as stellar as she likes to pretend that it was, so in an effort to preserve her dignity and not let anyone aware of the facts, Fiorina is feverishly searching high and low for the toilet she flushed HP down.


Last seen by the 5 Freeway in Northern California.

Fiorina has actually created a search team called “Flush Force One” (a play on her make-believe aspirations of becoming president). FFO is now into their second week of their search efforts, but the toilet is still missing. Rumors have been swirling that RNC chair Reince Priebus is holding onto it so that he can release intel as the primaries draw closer. Another source close to Free Wood Post suggested that Donald Trump is using it to make that whoop-dee-doo thing with his hair.

The longer the toilet stays missing, the more likely someone besides Carly Fiorina will find it first, and the last thing she wants is her failed business record to come splashing back into her face.

Free Wood Post will keep you updated as details emerge around the case of the missing business records.


Featured image: Wikimedia Commons/Flickr

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