Republicans Angry Their Only Music Choice is Ted Nugent

  
This week has seen several lawsuits aimed at Republicans that are accused of playing music that they neglected to get the rights to play.

80’s band, Survivor, and music publisher BMI are currently bringing suit against presidential candidate Mike Huckabee and right-wing darling Kim Davis for the unauthorized use of their song “Eye of the Tiger.” And, current Republican front-runner Donald Trump is also in hot water for using REM’s, “It’s the End of the World.” Apparently, no-one wants their music associated with these nutbags as REM is filing suit against Trump for his use of the song.

Many Republicans are sadly discovering that there are no musicians of any talent that wish to have their music underscore the right-wings’s crazy, racist campaigns or causes.

Their only choice now, would seem to be Ted Nugent. Though it’s been decades since Nugent was relevant, he did have a few songs that charted. Let’s take a look at some of the lyrics and see which might make a great Republican anthem.

“Stranglehold”

You ran the night you left me
You put me in my place
I got you in a stranglehold, baby
That night I crushed your face.

Well, that’s a lovely sentiment. But it seems to go right along with the Republican platform on women’s rights and healthcare.

How about “Stormtroopin”?

“Stormtroopin”

Comin’ up that street, jackboots steppin’ high.
Got to make a stand
Looking in your windows and listen to your phone.
Keep a gun in your hand.
Get ready. Stormtrooper’s comin’.

The right wing is fond of accusing everyone of being Nazi’s, so this might be a good anthem. Or How about “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang”?

“Wang Dang Sweet Poontang”

Wang dang, what a sweet poontang
Shankin’ my thang as a rang-a dang-dang in the bell
Ooh, baby
She’s so sweet when she yanks on my meat
Down on the street you know she can’t be beat
What the hell.

Poetry. Can’t you just picture Carly Fiorina or Bobby Jindal struttin’ out to that?

Then, there is always the perennial favorite “Cat Scratch Fever.” I’m sorry, I can’t bring myself to type out the lyrics. It’s too painful. Brain cells are dying off from the pure stupid misogyny.

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