Christian Right Enraged Over McDonald’s ‘Fifty Shades’ Bondage Toys

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The catch phrase “I’m Lovin it” has taking on a whole new meaning with McDonald’s partnering with the popular film Fifty Shades of Grey on their latest Happy Meal toys.

The mega-corporation couldn’t pass up the chance to co-brand on several new toys. The kids can choose from festive floggers, fuzzy handcuffs, multi-colored whips, ball gags and blindfolds.

According to a McDonald’s representative, the girls’ toys consist of the blindfold, ball-gag or fuzzy cuffs. The boys’ toys are the whips, and floggers.

Not surprisingly, Christian right groups from around the country are enraged by the new offerings. Pamela Skoalfield of Arkansas had this to say:

“It’s outrageous. I took my family to McDonald’s after church and the next thing I know my little Susie has a ball-gag on and Jimmy is flogging her. It’s completely offensive and just not safe.”

When asked about the safety of the toys McDonald’s put out this statement. “We stand by the safety of all our Happy Meal toys. The ball-gags all have breathing holes much like a whiffle ball and the whips and floggers are all made of the softest leather and of course the cuffs come with keys.”

The Christian Right has stated they will begin protesting McDonald’s as soon as they gather their numbers. They are already protesting Fifty Shades of Grey for its content.

However, the latest box office results show that more tickets have been sold to the film in Bible-Belt states than any other. Parking lots at cineplexes have been crammed full of mini-vans. No one is sure yet how a McDonald’s protest will do either since those same states are responsible for most of the fast-food giants’ annual consumption.

A spokesman for McDonald’s advertising agency who wished to remain anonymous had this to say about the impending protest:

“I’m not sure what they are so upset about. After all, according to their own Biblical beliefs a woman should be submissive to the man. You’d think these kinds of toys would be right up their alley.”

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