With the news of New England Patriots’ footballs being insignificantly deflated in the AFC Championship against the Indianapolis Colts starting to dwindle in the media, a new startling allegation has been made known.
ESPN is reporting Patriots Quarterback Tom Brady has been accused of performance enhancing. New evidence suggests the star QB ate his Wheaties the morning of the game.
“This is outrageous!” said Seattle Seahawks Cornerback Richard Sherman. “Who’s to say he’s not going to eat Wheaties again before the Super Bowl. The Patriots need to be fined and forfeit. And if they forfeit, we win! Yeah!”
MSNBC host Chris Hayes will be doing his entire hour-long show discussing the allegations. “People need to know the truth,” said Hayes. “Was he eating his Wheaties, or rather Cheaties, or not? We all know eating Wheaties is the perfect way to start the day and it would give him an overall edge against the opposing team.”
ESPN, in their initial report, said:
“It has come to our attention that Patriots Quarterback Tom Brady ate his Wheaties the morning of January 18th 2015. We have ascertained that this action led to the incredible performance both Brady and the Patriots had during the AFC Championship against the Colts. We are awaiting a full investigation from the NFL.”
It is also rumored that the entire defensive line of the Patriots also ate their Wheaties because they allowed only one touchdown the entire game, and even that was based off of penalty yardage given by the overzealous and well-nourished Patriots defense.
Free Wood Post will keep you up to date as details into these new-found allegations unfold.