Doomsday Preppers Excited About Ebola

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As Ebola was diagnosed earlier this week for a man in Texas traveling from Liberia, many across the nation have started to get worried that it could spread. However, there’s one group of people who couldn’t be more excited for a potential pandemic — Doomsday Preppers.

“Everybody told me I was crazy,” said Elaine Ringerbottom of Colorado speaking from her sealed bubble in the basement of her home in an exclusive interview to Free Wood Post. “They said I was nuts. That I had no reason to fear a horrible disease coming to the USA. Well, look. Ebola is here…. and who’s prepared? Me. I’m prepared. I’ve been prepared for years. I have tanks of water, protection suits, masks, and goggles. I have food for years. Even a bathroom that has its own separate septic line. To tell you the truth I’m excited all my hard work prepping is about to pay off.”

Max Harldly spoke to us through an intercom system from his sealed bunker thirty feet beneath the earth and we promised not to reveal the location, “I’m ready! The wife’s ready! My 13 kids is ready! Just let that Ebola try to squirm its way down here. I’ll shoot it before it has a chance! I’ll be stowed away ’til everything’s clear. Now get outta hear before you let everyone know where we are and they all try to steal our stuff.”

When we tried to explain that an outbreak could likely be contained and those who became ill would be limited due to our modern technology and medicine also prepared for such an event, they didn’t want to hear it. Both Preppers were ecstatic that they had the foresight to plan ahead for impending doom, and until the United States is “Ebola free” they’ll be in their protective safe places with their families.

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