After several close calls both at the White House and the CDC, President Obama isn’t taking any more chances and has hired Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson to head the Secret Service.
“It was really a no-brainer,” said President Barack Obama in an exclusive interview to Free Wood Post. “The man’s a badass. I mean, have you seen his movies? I know I wouldn’t want to mess with him. With him in charge I don’t have to constantly be thinking about breaking out my own secret ninja moves. Besides, Michelle told me he’s easy on the eyes.”
Free Wood Post has yet to hear back from Dwayne Johnson regarding his new position. He’s likely busy devising a strategy to best protect the president.