President Obama and his foreign policy team have been scratching their heads in a thus far deliberative attempt to figure out how to break up ISIS. The well-financed and armed international Islamic group of terrorists inflicting pain and misery in Iraq and Syria. The sheer magnitude of, and its massive amounts of money, combined with the fact that President Obama and the American people aren’t eager to jump back into Iraq, has puzzled the president and his team. However, videos of ISIS beheading two American journalists is not something President Obama can easily stomach, and plans to obliterate ISIS are a work in a progress.
President Obama is working with Britain’s David Cameron to form a coalition to take ISIS out with massive airstrikes. Yet, it seems the greatest and easiest solution was right in front of them the whole time.
President Obama announced his intentions to stop ISIS by threatening to release nude photos of Joe Biden.
After witnessing the devastating impact that the hacking of nude photos of celebrities Jennifer Lawrence, Kirsten Dunst, and Kate Upton has had, President Obama stumbled upon a great strategy.
“After giving it much thought and consulting with my National Security team, I have decided to release naked cell phone photos of Joe Biden if they do not surrender,” said President Obama earlier today.
The President is actually considering releasing an image (shown below) from one of Biden’s nude Tai-Chi routines.
Although such a plan might actually compel the ruthless terror network to surrender, some human rights lawyers claim that by showing naked photos of Vice President Biden, America may be engaging in barbaric behavior itself.
“Biden’s penis, while not clearly defined as a violation of the Geneva Convention, is still very cruel and unusual,” said Sarah Sampson of Human Rights Watch.“However, I believe Biden-bending-over-in-a-thong while eating a banana might be acceptable.”
Many members of President Obama’s inner circle seem to agree that any airstrike pales in comparison to a nude Joe Biden.
Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook, and like NJ Laughing Liberally Lab if you love political humor from a progressive point-of-view.