WASHINGTON D.C. — Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) held a press conference this morning addressing the growing crisis’ around the nation. From border protections, to jobs, to Meatloaf Mondays in the Congressional cafeteria.
“He’s incompetent! He does everything on his own without Congressional approval,” said Speaker Boehner waving his fist to a crowd of eight at the local Washington DC Denny’s. “Then I asked him to do something without Congressional approval, and he won’t do it. What’s wrong with him?! My message is as clear as day, our dictator president needs to do more, but also do less at the same time, and then play ring around the rosie with me, I really love that game… and wine, I love wine… have you tried the wine (takes sip) it’s really good wine. Shout out to Denny’s for the best wine! Who knew they served wine. What.. oh, it’s mine… well… What was I saying?… President Obama needs to stop the illegal immigrants from crossing the border. I mean, why doesn’t he just go down there himself and tell them all to go home. He could at least pose for photos like Rick Perry… did you see those photos? I bet the kids will see him and run away in terror. Back to the point… President Obama needs to more or less do more and less. Got it? Good. Okay, now what to have for breakfast….”
We here at Free Wood Post are unclear what Speaker Boehner was talking about, so if you have any sort of clue, please feel free to contact Speaker Boehner and tell him he’s clearly out of his mind.