In an effort to always keep her son out of trouble and debt, as well as fully financed throughout his life with no strings attached, a woman has named her new baby boy Goldman Sachs.
Debbie Charterington of Piedmont, North Dakota wants a blessed life for her newborn son. She doesn’t want him to ever have to worry about money or getting into trouble. She knows that little Goldman Sachs will always have a golden parachute waiting for him.
“College will be paid for, even if he runs up excessive debt beyond what he needs,” said Charterington. “He’ll never have to worry about getting into a pickle, because the government will always be there to bail him out. I was going to name him Wall Street, but I always thought of that as more of a girls name, because I want a daughter to be raised with the mindset she has absolutely no regulations on her body, just like Wall Street has no regulations. It was really a no brainer. Little Goldman is already growing so fast just like the income and bonuses of all the executives paid after the stock market tanked in 2008. He’s going to have a thrilling life with ne’er a thing to worry about.”
We here at Free Wood Post applaud the effort of Ms. Charterington trying to give her child the best life possible by naming her son an untouchable entity that always gets away with just about anything. It is her hope that other parents follow suit, and may little Goldman Sachs grow up happy and healthy.