Ned Turnington of Whistle, PA knows a thing or two about a lot of things. In his latest blog posting about why the U.S. economy crashed he listed several different hypotheses, where every hypothesis was sourced to a previous blog posting as evidence.
Turnington is fairly certain one of the reasons the economy crashed was because the universe could sense the impending election of Barack Obama. He knew this, because one day, on his way home from work, he stopped at the local burger place. The burger place had the news on. At the very moment he took a bite of his burger Barack Obama was on the television. Turnington then noticed his burger was overcooked, falling apart, and pieces of it were crashing on the floor. He went home that night and wrote a blog piece about it, then low and behold a few months later, the economy came crashing down just like his burger. If was obviously Obama’s fault. The universe knew it, and Ned knew it.
Another theory from Turnington’s blog post as to why the economy crashed was because in 2007 the TV show Scrubs moved from NBC to ABC. It was a move that Ned believes made several people uneasy, confused, and easily convinced it had been cancelled altogether causing them grief, where they would spend money they shouldn’t, lose their savings, go bankrupt, leading to the crash of the entire world economy.
After Turnington finished his blog post about the economy he would post it in the comment section of several liberal websites, Facebook pages, and Twitter replies. He was so certain about his hypotheses and proud of himself, that not only would he post the blog in the comment section, but then proceed to quote himself and “Like” it. He also figured it would give himself more credibility if it looked as though someone agreed with his post.
As it turns out, pretty much of all Ned Turnington’s blog posts are inaccurate with no basis in reality, but Ned keeps on going. He’s certain of his theories and won’t let up. He can connect anything to anything with the most bizarre line you’ve ever seen.
Oh, but don’t tell Ned he’s wrong. He’ll then post one hundred more of his own blog posts to prove he’s correct. Just fair warning.