Russian President Vladimir Putin got to show the world the strength and grandiosity of his Russia during last night’s spectacular opening Ceremony.
But hopes for Russia’s glorious future literally looked dark following the Olympic ring fail when only four of the five Olympic Rings came together.
Although a minor and trivial mistake, Putin has worked incredibly hard and spent billions to flout Russia’s greatness.
“Pooty (as he likes to be called by his inner circle) was livid when he saw this mistake,”said a Russian Olympic official. “There was simply no way he would ever be able to show his shirtless self in public any more with this embarrassment linger over his head”.
So what consequences would come of the Olympic ring fail?
It seems that the technician behind the Olympic ring fail received a letter urging him to not come to work the next day. Instead, he was asked to report to the are were the biathlon was scheduled to take place.
Combining both skiing and shooting, the biathlon would serve as an excellent venue to shoot the failed technician.
“We felt that using the venue for the biathlon to execute the technician was the only way to put a regular frown back on the face of Pooty,” said Sergey Lavrov, Russia’s Foreign Minister.