GOP’s Rush To Ban All Foreign Languages Stalled After Realizing England Is Also A Foreign Country


Conservatives voiced a tirade of anti-foreign language rhetoric when a multi-language rendition of  America the Beautiful was aired during the Super Bowl.

The conservative world exploded in a fury of tweets, Facebook posts and bog entries condemned the act of not speaking in English in America.

Many labeled the act as unpatriotic, un-American and treasonous. Some GOP figures seized on the opportunity to ferment the growing chasm of social and ethnic divide and to solidify their conservative base.

Rep. Paul Ryan of Wisconsin (R) was one of the first to lead the charge to condemn the use of foreign languages and suggest that we should solve the problem by simply making it illegal to use any foreign language in public, on the airwaves or during any public event.

The suggestion received applause from all across the conservative media as well as social media.

Rep. Ryan has also promised he would push the bill as soon as he is finishes impeaching the president for “High Crimes and Misdemeanors.”

The crowd was worked into a frenzy of jubilation and chants of “Benghazi….Benghazi….Benghazi”, the battle cry of the Tea Party.

Shortly after Rep. Ryan’s epic rally and speech Free Wood Post asked Rep. Ryan a few simply yet infuriating questions:

Rep. Ryan according to the U.S. Constitution what is the official language designated by our founding fathers?

Rep. Ryan when the United States declared independence from England didn’t England become a foreign state?

Rep. Ryan why are we still speaking English if we are universally opposed to speaking in “foreign languages” when we have thousands of our own indigenous and native languages such as Cherokee, Iroquois, Lakota, Navajo, Hawaiian as well as numerous native Alaskan languages?

Rep. Ryan stated he would not comment at the moment but would ask Rep. Darell Issa to form an investigative committee to look further into the matter.

Free Wood Post tried to reach Rep. Issa’s office in regards to the possibility of him forming a committee to investigate whether  English should be regarded as a foreign language but to this date we have received no reply from either Rep Ryan’s or Rep. Issa’s offices.

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