University of Phoenix To Launch One-Day Bachelor’s Degrees

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Move over four-year colleges and universities. The for-profit University of Phoenix is preparing to launch one-day accelerated online degree programs.

Ever sat around and pondered why you have to put in an average of four years to get a bachelor’s degree? Do you have to go to class and learn for THAT long? Just think—you could sit at home eating cheese puffs and before you’re even half way done with the bag, you could be half way done with your degree. University of Phoenix’s public relations officer, Morgan Jones revealed the following:

“We are preparing for an exciting addition to University of Phoenix’s degree offerings in 2014. We’re doing what most universities have failed to do—respond to the market. People are busy so we want to make things easy. No application—just an inquiry card and a fee. No tests, no memorizing, no requirements. Just fire up that computer and get that little piece of paper in one day. It’s THAT easy.”

Phoenix has come under a lot of heat over the past few years for targeting everybody and anybody in order to boost enrollment while loading students with financial aid debt that often goes unpaid. After Washington put pressure on Phoenix to focus on outcomes and student retention, Phoenix faced shrinking enrollment numbers and stock losses. Some speculate that a one-day degree would be a quick and easy way to turn a profit. Besides, how hard is it to retain a student for one day as opposed to multiple years?

Get ready for more touching commercials, since Phoenix has supposedly set aside 1.5 million dollars in ad money for the launch of their new one-day degrees.

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