Grinch Who Stole Christmas Tragically Dies From Enlarged Heart

The_grinch

The Grinch Who Stole Christmas died suddenly last week at age 109. While 109 years represents a long life for humans, the life expectation for a grinch is at least 200 years. Doctors have already performed an autopsy and determined that his death was brought on by an enlarged heart, which had been long suspected but never definitively confirmed.

Whoville medical examiner Mack Glugman:

“This is a real tragedy. Back in 1957, when the whole alleged Christmas theft took place, the Grinch was in amazing shape. His cold climate abode was perfect for preserving his cellular function, and he was experiencing minimal stress to his body. And with a dutiful puppy and a lack of children, coupled with his heart two sizes too small, his blood pressure was barely detectable. His only daily activities included pacing Mt. Crumpit while denouncing those blasted Whos. It was a perfectly tuned activity level for his circulatory system. But after he learned the true meaning of Christmas and his heart grew three sizes…well, I’m afraid that was the turning point in his health. The enlarged heart, coupled with having to deal with Whos on a constant basis obviously proved too much. We all grieve this senseless death. If he had been allowed to be left to himself to stew up on that mountain, he might have even lived to 300! I think every Who needs to look deep within himself and possibly take a little responsibility for the poor Grinch’s demise.”

While the Grinch had no family, he is survived by his dog, Max XVII.

 

 

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