Christie Drinks Blood Of Public School Teacher At Victory Rally

Chris Christie

NJ Governor Chris Christie is famous for his public feuds with public school teachers, so it was only natural that he eventually completely lost his cool with one.

Christie  decidedly won reelection tonight in a landslide – 60-39 percent over his Democratic challenger, state Sen. Barbara Buono – and virtually no one thought he would lose. Christie, who has been trying to get closer to 2016 ever since the day he donned that super fleece during Sandy and created a special Senate election separate from his own, may have gotten a little carried away.

During his reelection victory party at Convention Hall in Asbury Park, New Jersey, Christie  was jubilant.

“I’m the luckiest guy in the world,”Christie said, flanked by his family, during his acceptance speech in Asbury Park, N.J. (CBS)

This where things got a little dicey.

After declaring his happiness with his reelection win, Christie shocked the entire crowd when he proceeded to drink the blood of a public school teacher on stage. Christie said that it was necessary, as it was the only way he could prove his conservative bona fides with teabaggers in a 2016 Presidential Primary.

“Everyone knows I can’t stand public school teachers and everyone knows that Teabaggers hate reason and thoughtfulness, so I figured this was the best thing I could do,”said a blood soaked Christie.  

 Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook

 

 

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