Koch Brothers: “Who knew we could get so many stupid people to believe us?”


Recently, in an interview with Free Wood Post, Charles and David Koch revealed some of their intentions for government, the economy, and how delighted they are that so many seem to believe their messaging.

“We’ve put a lot of money into this, I’m not gonna lie…. well, at least about that,” said David Koch. “Our entire goal is to elect people into office to advance our cause. That cause being, making us more money… oh, and to keep those gays from getting married. I mean really, ick.”

Charles Koch then stated, “I can’t even begin to tell you how much money we’ve shoveled into the different election cycles nationwide, but it’s purely an investment and we’ve received our money back tenfold through legislations written in our favor. We’re literally being allowed to pollute, be lax on safety, take over land, outsource jobs, hide our money, select judges to rule in our favor… it’s been great! Money is all you need to get your way in this country.”

David chimed in saying, “Yeah, and it also buys you the media. Look at Fox News, they push our messaging left and right to a bunch of people eager to listen because they want to hate the president so bad and look for any reason whether it be real or false… mostly false, but who cares! It works for us. I mean, who knew we could get so many stupid people to believe us?”

“Us and our horrendous plans which only benefit our bank accounts,” laughed Charles interrupting David’s thought. “These people don’t even realize we’re getting them to vote against their best interests. Our policy agendas only favor the rich and rich monopolizing corporations. We even get policies written to subsidize our costs making us even more money. We’ve completely drowned small business and any chance the middle class has of rising out of the debt they’re in… Debt they’re in because of us! HA! Most of them are even being pushed down into poverty wages, yet they’ll continue to listen to us and agree. It’s really quite something. If they want a person who cares about their interests they’d vote for Democrats, but we’ve convinced them they are ‘millionaires in waiting’.. yeah right, like we’d ever allow them into our club.”

“And of course the race baiting,” said David.

“Oh yes, the race baiting… works every time,” said Charles.

David ended the interview stating, “Until the Supreme Court says otherwise, we’ll continue to keep doing what we’re doing. It’s completely legal.”

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