Christian Broadcasting Network’s Pat Robertson Caught with Dino Porn

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Founder of the Christian Broadcasting Network , host of the 700 club and former Republican presidential hopeful, Pat Robertson has been discovered to be a connoisseur of dinosaur erotica.

Dinosaur erotica is a little known subset of BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism & masochism)literature that generally tries to stimulate through fantasy tales of waifish human females being taken and brutalized by dinosaurs. Some of the more popular titles include: “Taken by the T-Rex”, “Ravished by the Triceratops” and “Mounted by the Gryphon”.

Robertson managed to keep his strange fetish quiet until reporters were investigating his extensive business ties through his African diamond mines to Liberian president Charles Taylor, who is wanted for crimes against humanity and for harboring Al Qaeda operatives. It was during this investigation that Robertson’s Amazon account was inadvertently discovered.

The leader of the Christian Coalition and moral voice of the conservative movement had receipts for over 65 erotic titles that included both dinosaur and demon porn.

Normally, here at Free Wood Post we would not report on someone’s sex life or particular kink. Hey, what you do in your bedroom is your own business. But in this case, Robertson has made a career out of demonizing homosexuality; calling it deviant behavior and blaming just about every natural disaster on God’s wrath towards the gays. So, we feel it’s important that people know the truth about Mr. Robertson and his particular fetish.

Since Robertson does not believe in evolution and has stated that man and dinosaurs walked the earth together; it can be assumed that he finds the scenarios in these books to be completely plausible.

We contacted Mr. Robertson’s office for a comment regarding his dino porn and we were sent this statement.

“God put the dinosaurs and humans together for a reason. There is no chance of pregnancy or diseases like AIDS in interspecies sex. As long as it’s male on female there is no problem. And… when the Bible speaks of adultery or other sexual sins it’s speaking about humans not dinosaurs. Dinosaurs aren’t even mentioned once in the Bible.”

No word yet on whether Roberson fantasizes that he is the brutish dinosaur or the submissive woman being menaced by Jurassic Bronto boner when he sits down for a good read.

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