McDonald’s Defense: ‘Connective Tissue McNuggets’ Tested Poorly in Focus Groups

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McDonald’s Corporation has come under fire in recent days for selling “chicken” McNuggets which contain less than 50% actual meat, with the rest being composed of fat, blood vessels, nerve, connective tissue, and ground bone.

The company’s spokesman, Ghronda P. Tendins, addressed the issue yesterday during a conference call:

“We focus tested several different names for the product, and none were remotely as successful as ‘Chicken McNugget’. Focus groups time and time again rejected names like ‘Connective Tissue McNugget’, ‘Meat-ish Scrapings’, and ‘McGrind’. We owe it to our shareholders to maximize profitability and product naming falls right in line with that. As well as…using bones and cartilage instead of ‘meat’.”

Tendins also revealed that there had been a slight reformulation of the tasty treat after nationwide bone scrap reserves plummeted in August and the company was forced to add additional actual chicken meat. But consumers immediately complained about the taste change, so when bone stockpiles rebounded they quickly reverted to the traditional recipe that everyone knows and loves.

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