Tea Party Plans To Dismantle “Anti-God” and “Phallic” Washington Monument

monument-braces

WASHINGTON D.C. — A small but vocal group made up of Tea Party congressmen and senators is calling for the destruction of the Washington Monument. They are even willing to tie the demolition they desire to the upcoming debt ceiling debate in order to get their way.

Headed by Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX), the group is quite familiar with holding the country hostage in order to achieve their goals, as is evidenced by the current government shutdown. The reasoning behind the proposed demolition is even crazier than the idea itself.

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) was the first to speak out about the project:

“It makes sense. Why are we wasting all these tax payer dollars restoring a symbol that is anti-God?”

The Washington Monument has been undergoing repairs to cracks and other damage sustained during the Virginia earthquake of 2011 and Hurricane Irene of that same year.

Bachmann continued, “An obelisk is a symbol of Egypt and Egypt is filled with Muslims. This is just more proof that our President Barack Hussein Obama supports the Muslim Brotherhood and is anti-Christian. If he is a true patriot he would take it down. It’s what the founding fathers would want.”

What Bachmann seems to be forgetting is that the Washington Monument was built to commemorate George Washington, commander and chief of the Continental Army, first President of the United States and a founding father.

She is joined in her disdain of the monument and its supposed anti-Christian symbolism by the rest of the group, Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY), Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX), and Rep. Phil Gingrey (R-GA). Ted Cruz went so far as to invoke Biblical references and call it a “false idol” representing ancient Islam practices.

Of course, the rather uniformed faction has it completely wrong. The obelisk has absolutely nothing to do with Islam. In ancient Egypt the populace worshipped the Sun God Ra and the obelisk represented a frozen ray of the Sun.

In modern society obelisks are used all over the world as monuments and no-one is worshipping them. They might do well to remember that there is a rather large obelisk in Saint Peter’s Square in Vatican City.

Their crazy reasoning is completely unsubstantiated. But it gets worse.

Apparently, Rep. Louie Gohmert doesn’t share the rest of the groups’ view that the Washington Monument is an anti-Christian symbol. No he believes it is a giant phallic symbol promoting gay rights. He wants it torn down so young men won’t see it and be tempted into “sin”.

You may think it’s insane but the group is gathering steam and is currently sending a petition around both the House and the Senate asking for more support in their plan to bring down the monument. They have even offered up a solution for what to do with all the stone that would suddenly become available were the Washington Monument to be dismantled as Bachmann stated in a press release.

“What better use of the tax payer dollar could there be than to stop with this ridiculous restoration project and use the stone and materials to build affordable housing? We have already talked to developers about building luxury condo’s on K street in DC for Representatives families to stay in when they are visiting their husband or wife who is doing the hard work of the government.”

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