President Obama Bringing In Child Psychologist To Help Congress Sort Out Their Differences


WASHINGTON D.C. — In an act of desperation to get Congress to at least act like well-behaved children instead of brats, President Obama has called in a child psychologist. It is the hope of the president that the psychologist will be able to help Congress sort out their differences in a mature manner and suggest appropriate discipline on the most out of line members of the House and Senate.

“We need to get the matters of this nation taken care of without all this petty bickering and whining,” said President Obama. “Republicans like Senators Cruz and Paul, Representatives Cantor and Bachmann, as well as Speaker Boehner need to realize that the Affordable Care Act was passed and upheld. It has nothing to do with the continuing resolution, and to hold our nation hostage just because they didn’t get their way three years ago goes beyond just bad behavior, but now to the point of a destructive temper tantrum where the impact will be felt worldwide. My hope is that this child psychologist will use masterful disciplinary actions, reward charts, and constructive reasoning to finally get through to Congressional Republicans.”

The nation now waits to see if this plan of child psychology works out. Hopefully, the government shutdown and impending debt ceiling crisis will be resolved by week’s end.

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