Barilla Tries To Appease The Gay Community With Penis Pasta

Barilla watch us grow

Guido Barilla the chairman of Barilla Pasta is in hot water again. You may recall that he angered the LGBT community worldwide when he made anti-gay comments on an Italian radio show recently.

“I would never make a spot with a homosexual family,” Barilla said Thursday on the Italy radio program La Zanzara (The Mosquito), according to Italian news agency ANSA. “Not out of a lack of respect but because I do not see it like they do. (My idea of) family is a classic family where the woman has a fundamental role.”

The show’s hosts noted that gays and lesbians eat pasta, Barilla responded, “That’s fine if they like our pasta and our communication, they can eat them. Otherwise, they can eat another pasta.”

Since then an astounding number of consumers have taken up Barilla’s suggestion and started eating any brand of pasta other than Barilla.

With his bottom line plummeting, Barilla has come up with a crazy and rather insulting idea to get LGBT buyers back. He is making penis shaped pasta. The new pasta takes up much less shelf space because it starts in a condensed state and expands when it hits water. Yes, you read that right. Contrary to their human counterparts, the pasta penises grow when submerged in water.

When asked why he thought this move might get the gay community back on his side, he showed his true ignorance.

“The gays, they like the penises. So I give them what they want; penises in the mouth.”

Along with the new line of pasta, Barilla, also has a new marketing campaign. The new company slogan is “Watch Us Grow.”

No word yet on if the Barilla company has any plans for vagina pastas yet. But if they do make them, they will likely be sold with clam sauce.

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