WASHINGTON DC — Who knew all it would take for Republicans to come out against war, their most favorite thing ever, was to simply have President Obama come out in favor of military action? We here at Free Wood Post certainly didn’t.
It seems President Obama has finally found a successful strategy to getting things accomplished in Washington DC. If he wants peace and diplomacy, he’ll ask for war. If he wants equal rights for all and same-sex marriage universally legalized, he’ll claim “gays are an abomination and should never be allowed to marry.” Pretty soon conservatives nationwide will come out in droves against the inequalities the president is perpetuating on a free nation.
Next week President Obama is holding giant “Anti-Obamacare” rallies nationwide as he takes his message on the road in a bus tour. Speaker John Boehner, Jim DeMint, and Senator Ted Cruz are already outraged and call for immediate implementation of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act designed to help those without insurance gain access, streamline the medical records process, and offer access and preventative care to individuals who may have recently been denied.
The president tried to go about doing business the old-fashioned way, via debate and reasonable compromises, but the hatred he has seen for him helped him devise a new plan of action — reverse psychology.
“They hate me so much,” said President Obama in an exclusive interview with Free Wood Post. “I figured it’s about time I used it to my advantage. Pretty soon we’ll start seeing progress and really be able to step away from a system that doesn’t work. But, shhhhh… don’t let the cat out of the bag. We can’t let the GOP know what we’re up to.”
We assured President Obama that almost all conservatives are currently watching Fox News and/or listening to Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh, so the probability that they would read anything, let alone Free Wood Post, is not very high.