Apple Unveils Plan To Push Existing iPhone Users To Competitors


CUPERTINO, CA — Phil Schiller, Apple’s senior vice president of Worldwide Marketing helped reveal their plan to push all their iPhone customers to existing competitors.

“We’ve given up trying to be innovative. It’s really their turn now. I mean, how long can we hold onto being the best and most state-of-the-art around. We basically just changed the colors, made some of them plastic to save some cash, offered a slightly faster operating system, and a finger-print thingy like you have at the gym, but nothing else new or special, we’ll leave that to the other guys. It’s our present to the market. We think Steve Jobs would’ve approved.”

This is a generous measure offered up by the computer giant. They plan on taking back the market in a couple years, but feel its time for others to have their “moment in the sun.”

We here at Free Wood Post are uncertain if Apple is actually this kind, or if they are simply covering up the fact that they no longer have anything up their sleeve.

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