US Tells Russia Snowden Is Gay So They Finally Arrest Him

In an effort to finally capture and detain Edward Snowden, the notorious NSA whistleblower, the Obama administration, knowing Russia offered him asylum yet hates all things gay, told Russian leadership that Snowden is a homosexual.

Upon hearing the news of Snowden’s alleged sexuality they were immediately outraged and wondered how many things he may have touched at the airport.

Apparently releasing sensitive information about trying to foil terrorist plots is not something Russia has a problem with, but gay cooties give them the heebie jeebies.

They are currently in the process of placing Snowden under arrest, and he will likely finally be released to US authorities.

According to Putin the situation is a “win-win.”