Eastern Hemisphere Destroyed By Meteor, United States Reacts By Being Furious At Dick Pics

Weiner_Asteroid

In an untimely and catastrophic event a giant meteor has crashed into China destroying most of the eastern hemisphere of the planet. Nations around the world mourn the loss of billions of people and aiding where they can. Parts of the EU, Africa, and most of Australia still remain intact, but rebuilding is going to take decades, if not centuries.

Meanwhile, in the United States of America, Kim Kardashian chipped a nail, Honey Boo Boo sang off-key and said “bitch”, and everyone seems to be enraged over some politician’s penis pictures sent to random women while his wife stays with him.

The world may stop spinning soon, but reality television and dick pics are here to stay and be a top priority in the news cycle.

We here at Free Wood Post sends our thoughts and prayers to those on the other side of the world working to rebuild.

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