Bill Gates Will No Longer Give Out Disney Trips or Free Money Through Email or Facebook


After decades of generosity to hard-working internet surfers, Bill Gates has announced that he will no longer be handing out free trips to Disney World for testing his email tracking software or $5000 cash bundles for sharing his creepy photo on Facebook.

Gates released a short statement on Facebook which did not include any sort of reward for sharing it:

“We’ve finally finished working the kinks out of that email tracking thing so we no longer are going to be giving out Disney World trips worth thousands of dollars in exchange for the very difficult task of clicking the forward button. I suppose that, in retrospect, we could have employed some kind of sweatshop test facility in Bangladesh for pennies a day, but you know what they say about hindsight. I wish to thank you for all of the email forwards, but the project has ultimately been cancelled. These damn kids today aren’t even using email anymore.

Also, our more recent program of giving out $5000 for sharing my photo on Facebook is also ending. I’m sure you or many of your friends have already received your $5000, so we hope you enjoyed that. But some of you might know that my wife and I are also involved in the Gates Foundation. Nearly 2.5 billion people worldwide live on less than $2 a day, and more than 1 billion suffer from chronic hunger. For these people, the basics of food, water, shelter, and sanitation are in short supply, and healthcare and education can be unaffordable luxuries. So after a lengthy period of retrospection, I feel that giving out $5000 at a time to people living comfortably in America for just clicking a button while goofing around on the internet with their hand permanently glued to a bowl of Cheetos may not have been a prudent expenditure on my part. I apologize for any inconvenience.”

Free Wood Post could not obtain actual numbers for the total amount of cash and prizes given out by Gates in the last 20 years. But it surely must have been “a lot”.

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