ROME, ITALY — A trove of ancient scrolls stored in the Vatican basement which have been until now indecipherable have shed some new light on the world’s first couple. Recent translations have now allowed theologians to learn a bit more about the daily lives of Adam and Eve.
With the help of the new documentation, scholars have established a more accurate timeline of what happened to Adam and Eve after their fall from paradise. Shortly after their precipitous fall, Adam and Eve rented a duplex outside of Jerusalem. Outside of a pisser of a landlord and some rather extensive rat problems, they lived a reasonably satisfying life. Eve worked the diner all day and Adam worked on the docks.
But the most interesting details involved Adam’s repeated fishing trips with his good friend Steve. Initially, it was just once a year, but then it became several times a month. This became a source of conflict between the couple. Eve did not like Steve’s constant innuendos regarding his “snake”, and she even suggested that maybe Adam and Steve weren’t even fishing at all. Scholars remain puzzled at the discovery.
The documents had simply been ignored due to their complexity, but they were easily translated and their secrets are now available to be shared after the Pope finally clicked on one of those annoying ‘Rosetta Stone’ advertisements on Facebook.