Woman With Public Facebook Profile Disgusted By NSA Snooping

angry_woman

Las Vegas resident Brittney Matthews has taken to her public Facebook page to blast the National Security Agency’s snooping into the phone records of private Americans.

“It’s unbelievable that the government can see who we’ve called on our phones! Do you know what they could do with that information? Something pretty scary, I bet. It’s really mind-blowing. Who I call and who calls me is kinda sacred and none of anyone’s business!”

A casual 5 minute review of Ms. Matthews Facebook profile and wall indicates that she is a 38-year-old stripper who works at The Scratching Post and goes by the stage name of “Raven”, works 4pm-2am 6 days a week with one day off on Tuesdays, drives a 2006 Toyota Corolla (license plate ‘HOTMAMA’) which has a burned out turn signal and is going to need new tires soon, has checked in to an average of 13 places per day using FourSquare (and is the current mayor of the Krispy Kreme 3.2 miles from her apartment), has 2 cats named “Muffin” (who recently suffered a nasty spider bite) and “Garfield” (who needs to lose about 10 pounds according to the vet), sunbathes in the nude, leaves her back door unlocked for the cat sitter, loves “50 Shades of Grey” and the “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” series, and received a speeding ticket yesterday which according to the photo was for doing 68 in a 45mph zone.

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