NORTH POLE — A top-secret letter has been found by the Guardian in the UK revealing the authority Santa Claus (sometimes referred to as Saint Nick) has to monitor the actions of all human beings on the planet at all times with no regards to privacy.
The letter reads:
To all who inhabit the Planet Earth:
It is with vested interest that I, Santa Claus, keep close watch of all who occupy the many grounds of the planet. I’m everywhere, all the time, without anyone ever being aware. I’m staring at you right now. Yeah you, with the Cheetos and beer, and even you picking your nose and eating it. Didn’t think I saw that, did you? I know when you are sleeping, I know when you’re awake, I know if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake.
With this letter revealed the National Security Agency (NSA) has expressed their jealousy over how Santa is able to watch everyone all the time all over the world all at once. An NSA team has been assembled to travel to the North Pole to interview Mr. Claus on his monitoring techniques to better oversee all action that takes place between the United States and those who seek to cause harm, and maybe to just watch a few people for fun.
Free Wood Post will keep you up to date as this story unfolds.